When we were getting ready for Bud’s 30^th anniversary banquet, Nancy asked me to tell her which of three pairs of shoes I thought would go best with her dress.  I actually waited until she tried on each pair before forming an opinion and telling her that the third pair was, without a doubt, the best choice.  A few minutes later, I noticed her standing in front of a mirror trying on all three pair again.  With only the slightest tone of indignity I said, “I gave you my opinion on which pair of shoes was best.”  She said, “I know.  And, now, I’m just trying to decide whether or not to accept it.”

When things like that happen, I know a sermon is about to be born.  Sure enough, just a week later, that little drama proved to be a parable of this text for me.  On the surface, this passage from Paul’s letter to the Roman church might seem to be irrelevant to our lives.  After all, he is talking about whether first century Jewish holy days that required fasting are relevant to the Christian community and whether or not Christians should eat food that had first been used in pagan idol worship before being sold in the market place for human consumption.  Not exactly the hot topics of conversation in twenty-first century Baptist churches where we’ll eat anything, on any day, call it a covered dish luncheon and actually invoke the name of a first century Jew in blessing it. 

But, this was a real problem in the early church.  This text in Romans actually parallels Paul’s letters to both the Corinthian and Colossian churches.  In all three communities, people were very opinionated about these issues and it was disrupting the church.  Some who had been converted to Christianity wanted to incorporate the customs of their Jewish heritage into their new faith.  Others wanted to come into the church unencumbered altogether and enjoy exploring their new freedom in Christ.  But, everyone had an opinion.  The only question left unanswered was, in matters of conscience, whose opinion counted most.  That was the issue Paul was addressing.  All of a sudden, this text gets very relevant.

When I’m talking tough, I like to say that there only three people in this whole world whose opinions of me matter, those of my wife and sons.  But, that’s when I’m talking tough.  In truth, more than I like to admit, I often find myself jumping show-dog-like through the hoops of too many other people’s opinions.  And, that’s frightening. 

We ministers can be the worst.  It’s so very easy to give up truth telling and go to show dogging.  But, by the time those who opt for show dogging get to retirement, which is never soon enough them or their suffering congregations, they look plastic and sound artificial, which is what they are.  But, Christian or not, there is nothing I know that is more dehumanizing than allowing your conscience to be circumvented by someone who is actually arrogant enough to attempt to take God’s place in your life by forcing conformity with their opinion.  Paul was moved to ask, who are we, who is anyone, “to pass judgment on servants of another?  It is before their own lord that they stand or fall.”

Again, the problems with first century holy days and meat offered to idols may not seem relevant to our context although it probably is more than we know.  Even today, a Christian Yellow Pages is published for people who only want to do business with Christians.  And, occasionally, we’re still asked to boycott this business or that because their company policy allows insurance coverage for the partners of gay employees.  How are we to be salt and light if we boycott the world Jesus died for? 

Maybe we can still learn something from our first century sisters and brothers who struggled with differing opinions on where they should buy their groceries.  As trivial as that appears, the larger question that issue begs is very relevant.  Whose opinion should shape and influence matters of conscience for us?  Let’s listen again.  “We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves.  If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”  In all matters of life and death, in all matters of conscience, Christian or not, we ultimately answer to God and to God alone.  Ultimately,even our opinion of ourselves has to answer to God’s.  In his first letter to the Corinthian church Paul reinforces that matter this way, “I do not even judge myself.  My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.  It is the Lord who judges me (1 Corinthians 4:3-4, NIV).” 

Abraham Lincoln once said, “If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me this shop might as well be closed for any other business.  I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.  If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won’t amount to anything.  If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”  Lincoln knew.  We answer to God.  And, there is as much hope as there is fear in knowing that.  We can be true to our convictions regardless of the price we pay, knowing that in time we answer only to God. 

I got that piece from Robert Sloan.  When I stepped into his office one day, I saw this plaque on his desk that reads, “A thick skin is a gift from God.”  I said, “I need one of those.”  I meant the plaque.  I must have also meant the skin.  We talked at length about how difficult it is to learn from your critics while staying true to your convictions.  Robert told me to borrow the plaque for a while.  So, I did.  I appreciate the loan.  But, what I also know is that, while he can loan me the plaque to encourage me, only God can ultimately grant courage.  Thick skin, like thick character, grows from the inside out.  It is, in the truest sense, a gift from God and one that he freely grants, like wisdom, to all who ask in faith for it.

The whole point of this argument is that, answering to God is not just a truth to which we will someday answer, it is also truth to which we should now surrender.  And, from the text, there are at least two identifiable ways of knowing whether we are doing that or not.  They can be posed as simple questions.

First, do we live thoughtful lives?  After working his way through a rat’s maze of perplexing questions on matters of faith and offering multiple solutions, Paul simply said, “Let all be fully convinced in their own minds.”  It’s not as black and white a world as some would like to think.  There are moral absolutes, but not as many as we’d sometimes like.  We can’t proof-text our way to a solution on every moral and ethical issue.  Eventually, the burden is on each of us to must resolve some issues in the privacy of our relationship with God.  Here’s a thought too often foreign to the Christian community.  God gave us minds and he expects us to use them to reason through issues.  He also gave us scripture and he gave us prayer.  We are not without good resources for thoughtful living. 

This is not about living with a devil-may-care indifference.  It is about having a deep enough sense of who we are in Christ that we don't have to stick our finger into the air to see which way the wind of public opinion is blowing before we make a decision.  It is also about accepting the fact that God is not going to make up our minds for us.  Our brains are not blank chalkboards onto which God drops fill-in-the-blank answers to all our questions if we just pray hard enough.  He will lead us but he expects us to walk with him.  He expects us to engage him in conversation, careful study and reflective thought. 

As an aside, one way we can live more thoughtful lives is to stay connected to people who can help us think.  Young people, if I could challenge you to develop this habit early, it will benefit you the rest of your life.  Find people who will stretch your faith and your imagination and stay close to them.  Whatever price you have to pay to keep them in your life will pay rich dividends in character, hope, faith and courage the rest of your life.

A few weeks ago I preached a sermon entitled The Gates of Hell in which I addressed the issue of what happens to those who die having never heard the gospel.  Only one person, who happened to strongly disagree with me, engaged me on the subject from scripture.  It is amazing how many people who claim to be followers of Jesus never read his word.  If you say you believe the Bible but you never open it and read it for yourself, you are allowing someone else’s opinion of what it says to shape your faith.  I commended my friend who disagreed with me for at least doing so thoughtfully, from scripture.  We will answer to God for what we believe.  Which brings us to the second question.

Are we living accountable to our faith community?  The problem in the Roman church was not just that some had strong opinions.  It was that they were using those opinions on insignificant matters to pass judgment on what mattered most, the genuineness of their relationships with God.  For some people, it’s not good enough to be Christian until they can prove how much more Christian they are than everyone else.  Why is that?

Listen again to the opening words of this passage.  “Welcome those who are weak in faith . . . for God has welcomed them.”  The church was meant, from its very inception, to be a welcoming community.  It is not how far along with God we are that determines our status in this place, just the fact that we have come here to seek him together.  Judging others by any other standard not only sets up an artificial and unholy caste system, it drives people away from the very place in which they were meant to discover the God who welcomes all who come, just as they are.  We are accountable to God, and God alone, for our convictions.  But, we are also accountable to each other for how we exercise them and whether we do so in loving ways that respect each other’s dignity.  We are free in Christ to believe what we will.  But, that is not a license to use our beliefs to whip others into conformity. 

I was visiting with someone recently to whom I occasionally make my confession.  I was expressing concern that confession is painful because it means giving someone else insight into just how human you really are.  He then gave me a marvelous gift when he said, “You don’t have to protect your image with me.”  He was assuring me that I have yet one more relationship where I don’t have to jump through show dog hoops to prove my worth.  It’s good enough with him that I show up.  He welcomes me as I am. 

He was also modeling the gospel.  A gospel that says we don’t have to protect our image with God.  He sees beyond the show dogging and knows us for what we are.  And, he’s already told us what he thinks about that.  Jesus Christ is God’s opinion of us.